Breakup Lines {Part 01}.

Breakup Lines

 

Breakup Lines is an experimental series where I attempt to blur the boundaries between fiction and nonfiction. This post is a real conversation about a fake breakup.

 

Participants:
————-
RACHEL, O. ASHIWEL OCHUI
12.19am.

Messages:
————-

 

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
I read your messages from yesterday again. I guess I’ll take whatever crosses are to be found from that misassumption and pile them onto the load I already carry.
But when it’s all said and done,
I love you Rachel.
Always have. Always will.
And I hope you realize that before I play pretend long enough to believe that maybe I don’t.
Because the loving that we had,
It was like no other.
That’s all I have to say; I should go back to sleep.
: )

RACHEL:
: )
Ashiwel.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Yes, Rachel?

RACHEL:
I think you should really move on.
I don’t mean to be cold but this past days have shown me a lot.
*these
And goodnight baby.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
: )
Still cold sha.
One of the classier breakup lines I’ve heard.
I feel sad.
Love is dead.
: (
No. Not dead. He’s on vacation.
Still : (

RACHEL:
Lol
Why did you wake up?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
You too, why are you even awake?
I can’t even have time to myself to mourn!
You have to come and keep me company!
I can’t sleep.
You’re leaving me. That’s why I woke up.

RACHEL:
Ash, you’ve been sleeping. : |

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
What cold, heartless bastard would sleep through a breakup with Rachel?
I had nightmares when I tried to sleep.
Sad stuff.
True story.

RACHEL:
*major eye roll*

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Lol!
Actually, I’ve been cooking.
And now, I have to go eat what should’ve been my dinner.
Plus I haven’t had the energy to set the sound options on this phone until now.
The only time it rings out is when I have a call.

RACHEL:
: p
You better call your meal breakfast.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
‎IMG-20131021-00001.jpg ‪(23.21 KB)‬
: )

RACHEL:
Hmm…nice
I’m hungry too.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Thank you.
You have no idea how long it took to dice all those veggies!
I could bring you some in the morning.
Parting gift ish.

RACHEL:
8-|
The agreement was your pair of boxers

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
There was an agreement?

RACHEL:
Yes!

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
These days, with you, I seem to do a lot of things I don’t mean to.
First, I divorce.
No. Before that, something gave you the impression I didn’t love you enough.
Then the divorce.

RACHEL:
What gave an impression?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Then the lot that “this past days have shown” you.
I wish I had an idea.

RACHEL:
Can you take all that’s on my mind?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Yes love.
Always.

RACHEL:
There are dark, ugly, twisted things up there.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
May I call you Love?
It brings back fond memories.
Oh go ahead. I like dark, ugly, twisted.

RACHEL:
It’s okay to call me that especially because it’s just something you call your friends or acquaintances.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Not really.
It’ll never be. For you.
I’m still waiting for dark, ugly, twisted.

RACHEL:
So back to the things in my head.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
And my list of perceived sins.
Yes.
*grabs popcorn, adjusts 3D glasses*

RACHEL:
There’s something about the way you make me feel. Sometimes I feel so, so special and some other times I feel cheap.
Like you can make me feel good about myself one moment and the next I feel so stupid.
My first visit to your place, there was this point I felt so detached from you like that thing we had over the phone was…nothing.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Wow!
Wow! again.

RACHEL:
Too dark?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Not really. No.
I’m actually waiting for the dark part.

RACHEL:
Okay.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
I’m just surprised you never mentioned this.
Funny how people say all the good stuff at the funeral, isn’t it?

RACHEL:
So when we stopped communicating,
Initially it was difficult to not think about you or try to reach you.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Can’t help but wonder if that should have been, “So when I made you stop calling and pinging by deleting you so I could get over you, inter alia…”
But go on…

RACHEL:
But with time, surprisingly, I actually kinda started to forget about you.
It became easier to keep away.
I remember the last time I was in Abuja, I was desperate to go see you, I was.
But this time, it didn’t even feel like you were still here.
I was glad to see you back on BBM but I wasn’t…excited.
That feeling you make me feel…

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Oh well,
I guess it’s what you sort of wanted, so it’s a good thing, no?

RACHEL:
Sort of.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
: )
Please go on.
Don’t let me interrupt you.

RACHEL:
That’s about all.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Okay.

RACHEL:
I think about the little time we spent together a lot.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
And here comes the consolation.
After the blow.

RACHEL:
It’s not a consolation.
It’s still part of my thoughts.
You wanted to hear it all.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Oh okay.
Go ahead then.

RACHEL:
I think about the shower a lot too.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Okay?

RACHEL:
Is that a question?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Yeah.

RACHEL:
Lol.
Make it clear.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
What do you think?
About our time together; about the shower?

RACHEL:
Well,
So many things went wrong.
I thought too much and felt too little.
I thought too much and couldn’t get lost in the perfection of the moment.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Thought of?

RACHEL:
The usual things.
The ‘what ifs’. My thoughts didn’t let me enjoy being in the shower with you, or your kiss on my forehead like I would have loved to.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
: )

RACHEL:
My period delayed for three days and I was scared =))
Remember that stuff you told me?
About pregnant virgins.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Yeah.

RACHEL:
Can’t believe I thought of that =))

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Lol! That worked, didn’t it?

RACHEL:
I’m crazy, ba?

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
No you’re not.
You’re human.

RACHEL:
But somehow I was thinking it won’t be bad to have Ashiwel’s child. At least he/she will be fine  : D
I imagine silly things.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
We all do.
My silly thing was always that we’d be together forever.
Maybe we could run away.
To wherever we wanted.
Do our own thing,
Love on our own terms.

RACHEL:
That was my silly thing at some point.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
That was MY silly thing : )
But reality’s a ratchet bitch, isn’t she?

RACHEL:
Lol.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
And once upon a time, we used to be perfect, we used to be gods.
But love often reminds us how human we are.
And I’m imperfect.
I can be forgotten.
I also find it hard to forget.
I can be irrational.
Subject to misinterpretation and often misinterpreted.
But you always said it was alright, didn’t you?
And all of the things that went wrong; I’m sorry love. I would’ve loved for your memories to be all great.
But I can’t turn back time.
And I wonder how I made you feel cheap or stupid. That made me feel really bad.
I’m sorry.

RACHEL:
Please don’t do that.
Don’t apologize.
I hold nothing against you, really.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
But how?

RACHEL:
Like how you’d forget things I told you about me or refuse to reply my pings
Really, they are very tiny things.
I guess I was so into you and it didn’t quite feel mutual.
Sometimes.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
That’s the real reason you left isn’t it?

RACHEL:
That wasn’t the reason, a catalyst maybe.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
Well,
I haven’t loved anyone the way I loved you since the last time I was in love.
Actually, I haven’t loved anyone since.
But there’s no need to cry for spilled milk, I guess.

RACHEL:
: )
Please don’t make me cry, again.

O. ASHIWEL OCHUI:
And that I don’t make you feel “that way” anymore,
I guess you’ve moved on.
Away from me and all my broken expectations.
I don’t want to make you cry.
Maybe it’s better if I just said goodbye.
I’ll miss your laugh. Your voice. The way you said my name.

The way you loved.
I’ll miss your keen mind. Your curves.
Your dresses that I privately liked.
I’ll miss the conversations,
The friendship.
The beauty that for a fleeting moment transcended all thought and society’s barriers; parents.
And in that transcendence, we were beautiful. I’ll miss that.
I’ll miss writing for you, writing because you’d read it.
I’ll miss your anger at my battery.
How you’d make me eat, I’ll miss that too.
I’ll miss the small moments,
I’ll miss living for you.
And I’ll never find another Rachel quite like you,
But that’s okay. I don’t want another Rachel.
I want you.

RACHEL:
Goodnight Ash,
I’ll miss you too, more than you know.

 

—————-

Thank you for dropping by to read. If you liked this, I’ve got more experimental fiction coming up soon. Consider sharing the link, and subscribing for updates. That way, you won’t  miss the next post in the series. Also, say hello on Twitter [@iamashiwel]. 

No virgins were harmed in the making of this blog post.

 

5 Comments

  1. el v · November 19, 2013 Reply

    So the geh wants to have el babies atink? God pass her. Guy how cud u mess this up man. Smh. Did I teach u anything???

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